Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Pitchfork Music Festival

The festival was a resounding success. The atmosphere was great and there was a complete lack of sketchballs(This is the one place where I could cut in line and get away with it.) Friends were made through t-shirts worn (I met a bunch of cool people with my Edan t-shirt) and weed was shared by all. And thats what I call community, like the mc liked to continually point out. (who i thought was funny, having him as mc was very…pitchfork. Favorite moment was when he enthusiastically recited dan bejars lyrics. Or called the mountain goats the billy goats.)
So who kicked ass?

Day 1 (The day ppl got tired of all the motherfucking heat in this motherfucking park)
Hot Machines: Who?
Chin Up Chin Up: Boring.
Man Man: HIGHLIGHT #1 = YEA BOI. Alright I had never heard Man Man’s music until the night before their performance. I listened to it half-assed and said fuck em I dont like it. As I was waiting for them to start (got a good spot cuz i left chin up) the guy next to me is like you ever see man man before and enthusiastically vouched for them. This was the only show this happened for me…they. are. sick. The five of them formed a tight knit unit right in the center of the stage. The singer was just ridiculous on his keyboard (i heard a complaint that he only sits down..wat the fuck?) and was constantly jumping and doing crazy shit. The 3 guys standing played at least 15 instruments between the three of them. And what really sold them was the drummer whos manic energy kept the compositions from imploding a 16 year old’s brain. They have an overwrought live review at pitchfork (which ends with saying they’re..lion-hearted?) which explains in more poetic detail. Oh and Marlon I now think that Six Demon Bag is good.
Band of Horses: Haven’t heard they’re cd and missed the show. It was hot and I was a pussy (is this word still acceptable?). I would make up for it Day 2.
Mountain Goats: Hadn’t heard any of their stuff really either, but Marlon likes them alot so I came along. And he was good. The singer (i dont really do names) created a very intimate atmosphere where it seemed like he was just chatting with the audience (ahem Dan Bejar). It seemed like everybody around me really love him, and he is a lovable dude: (”slow song 2nd like wat. the. fuck. were-you-thinking..”)a friendly homey kind of wierd. He also ended his set with one of the great moments of the festival, “Terror Song”. I sent the lyrics to my friend to get her to fucking pick up her phone when Marlon and me made our compromise (she doesnt call in 30 minutes we’re not going to her apt…). It worked. Oh and he sang a song about Thailand (YEA! Bkk mofos).
Destroyer: God damn this is getting pretty long already and we’ve reached the first hurdle to you getting to the end of this. Cause I want to talk about destroyer. I consider him the best singer-songwriter out there today. My love for him (his music ok fucks) got me stalking him on myspace because I thought I saw him on the DC metro (he never..messaged…back. I should check again!). But he says he hates playing live so I was worried about this performance. And guess what? He tried his best to alienate the crowd…but he knew how to play guitar! And his band knew the songs! And they were different than the album versions (wtf pitchfork)! I loved that he opened with a song nobody knew. I watched with pleasure as he mangled the la-la-la choruses off rubies’ tracks and changed the nuances of his singing so nobody could sing along. He didn’t say “the fucking maniac”. He dragged “It’s gonna take an airplane” for longer than he should. He laughed when he mentioned “new ways of living” (ref-er-ence) during “the modern painters”. He made awkward conversation with the crowd (”This song is about….ahhhhhhhh”). And it was brilliant. Dan Bejar is the man. Why the fuck did he only get a 30 minute set? Lord knows I’ve been trying (HA!) to get ppl into this guy.
Art Brut: I dont know they’re music. But all I heard was the lead singer going “Ready Art Brut!” and “Lets go Art Brut” at the beginning of every song and the rest of the time my friend (random kid I meet at every indie event..3 states now) Miguel was trashing them. Moving on.
Ted Leo: I loved hearts of oaks 3-4 years ago. But..it doesnt really seemed to have aged well. He’s still good but…I think my days with ted leo are done for.
The Walkmen: They were really good. But I dont remember anything cuz at this point I am kind of burned out from the weed during destroyer. Just a really good band. Best hour set of the day...maybe wouldnt have been if I had caught Matmos at this same time.
Futureheads: Pass. Marlon was almost on my neck at this point as we left.
Silver Jews: Didn’t see it. I’ve heard lots of good things about him and I love pavement and I like “Random Rules” and that pony song…but I havent really gotten into them yet. Hmm.

Day 2 (The Day WWIII came to Union Park and a black hole appeared on stage)
This was the day I was excited for.
Tapes n Tapes: Thought their cd was solid but…they aren’t that good.
Danielson: Very tight…His songs are very strange.
Jens Lekman: I’m kind of sorry I passed on this one. It was Jens Lekman and the band of girls. A very happy set, always could use some good vibes. I dont know his music though and I had a long day ahead.
The National: Blog Power has given this band some well-deserved attention. I would like everyone to note that I stayed for them (along with my four friends) when they headlined after clap your hands say yeah! This was before pitchfork gave them a positive live review…there was only 15 ppl in the place. You fucking scensters missed one of the greatest shows i have ever seen (they were pissed) you fucking idiot dirtbags you couldnt even fucking stay for at least one song thats bullshit i bet you all on their cock now that their getting famous…fucking indie kids piss me off sometimes…oh this was columbus ohio if you all are interested I wonder if some of you readers were there. If you were there I have very little respect for you. They killed it of course…Marlon will cover this one. I got the next.
LIARS: For the last day and a half the only thing that has gone through my head is the correct metaphor to describe the liars performance. Let me share some: The tore down Union Park and rebuilt it again. They shattered the previously unrealized delicateness of time and space. They unveiled what the fuck they had been doing in Germany the last year and a half while the indie community was championing all sorts of the soon to be forgotten. The last addition to the festival lineup stood top of a tower built on the bones of all the bands before it. The proved that they were no blog’s pet to be blown off and accepted into the fold again. They and their music are not a part of this scene, they are creating their own scene. I could go on for hours about them…and we still have a while to go. Go to the Liars page i will post it there…if you think i am riding their dicks fuck off i dont give a damn. For all Liars fans…it was a concert sure to go down in legend up there with any fuckin famous doors show or pink floyd who ever else has had a singular mythical concert. If you were there and missed this I have no comment.
Aesop Rock/Mr. Lif: Best decision ever made putting these guys after the liars instead of a rock band. In a way Aesop Rock is a rap equivalent of the liars. His ridiculous flow demands your attention, culling respect from ppl who thought rap was the worst thing since crack. He hit his rhymes perfectly, but he is moving way beyond your ability to keep up. Mr Lif started off a little rocky and got better, but Aes was the star. Oh and their DJ was sick, his track when he made a beat from scratches was amazing. And they got the entire crowd to beat their fists while they sang “Since I know they’re listening PS Fuck the feds” “Fuck Clinton too, RWANDA” and etc etc. A good performance by the festival’s solo main stage rap representatives.
Mission of Burma: At this point I was getting exhausted so I passed on them. I had seen them in DC a week before and they were amazing. I’m sure they rocked it once again.
Devendra Banhart: I haven’t heard his stuff. A good if immemorable performance. I will check his music out though.
Yo La Tengo: They were the band prior to the festival that I was most excited to see. I felt that they should have headlined instead of the Silver Jews on Day 1, but it made sense because Yo La Tengo used their set as a chance to play alot of the songs off their forthcoming cd. I was slightly dissapointed, but their new songs were all very good and by the end they had won over a crowd that was anticipating something off “prisoners of love”. They still got it.
Spoon: I had already seen them before so I wasn’t paying much attention. Their live show isn’t that exciting.
Os Mutantes: Marlon and I caught 30-40 minutes of this show before we had to leave for the train (wish we missed anyways). I had never heard their music, trusting the hype and the fact that they quite a devoted Brazilian following. Their 8-piece (?) band played beautifully unique songs, ranging from a zappa-like opener to early beatles, to orchestra-ish rock songs (very good Danny). A nice end to a great festival.

Final Thoughts: In 4 years the liars will rule the world and we will all be slobbering at their heals. Radiohead you may take a seat.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA (movie) REVIEW

"The Chronic-wat-cles of Narnia" That shit was sick. But let's talk about this massive pile of shit. This movie is a new landmark in the sort of terrible being released. It is shitty for the kids it was aiming for and it was shitty for stoners who don't know what's going on. Yes I read the books as a child but no the reason I disliked it was not because it did not live up to my imagination. I had low expectations for this movie and for the first 30 minutes, despite the mild annoyance of the kid actors, I actually enjoyed it. People in the crowd were still making jokes, and there had yet to be a cringeworthy moment. Which only heightened the soul-twisting pain of the marathon of horrible lines and cliche shots hit over and over again. It starts with Father-fucking christmas. There is a shot of the two badgers hugging at his appearance that is just no (not a what the fuck? but a complete and utter rejection that something of its nature could be offered to the audience and thought that it would pass). This type of insult is spoonfed to us. The centaur as a character created specifically to make a last stand that we would care about. A battle scene using special effects that has absolutely no impact. Rhinocerases and polar bears. Half-baked character developments. Almost every shot comes off as contrived and arrogant, without any editing put in the process. The movie feels long as hell (3 hrsdammit) but offers absolutely no gratification. The jokes made by the smart ass behind me, the laughs at the fantasy the movie offers, ends after those first 30 minutes. The theater is silent in our collective anguish. This is more than a bad movie, it is a travesty in that you can't seriously believe how it is playing out, but there it is in front of you. The only good, life affirming thing in the film was the dwarf (gnome?) assistant of the queen, who was beautiful in his futile attempts to liven the film as a bitch to everyone.

Look at this crap. Torture us with a shitty montage and an ugly set.

The strange thing is that the people I know didn't come away with the same impression. The collective response was "meeh", "it was alright", "nothing special", "at least the battle scene is cool". wat.the.fuck. What happened here?? Am I turning into some crazed cynic, some type of movie snob? (Fuck yall thats not what happened) No, I think it is deeper and more dangerous than that. When I went to Thailand over break, King Kong and Narnia had a monopoly over theaters...not another film could be seen. Now King Kong was bad in an ADD special effects peter jackson masturbation sort of way, but it was not on the same level of Narnia. But they are similar. The two films mark a shift from story to special effects, reality to wonder(shitty computer generated wonder), thought to zombification; mainly the use of money to gloss over the crap. In a world where these films are the only choice (as in Thailand) this shit becomes regular, commonplace, "meeh". I'm no fucking prophet but that's some scary orwell bullshit! THOSE FUCKS AT HOLLYWOOD ARE SPITTING IN OUR FACES and we have gotten so used to wallowing in it we don't even mind anymore. A friend (who has lived in Austria most his life) said King Kong was one of his top 5 movies he'd ever seen. WHAT THE FUCK?! How can independant movies, with characters and a story, compete with this fantasy-effect bullshit? Brainwash me with some eraserhead. Christ. FUCK NARNIA. Yes Hollywood standards are bad. But at least before we knew it and it was mildly amusing or invoked some sort of reaction. This flashy bang bang shit is a vortex of complete meaninglessness.